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Social Voyeurism vs Real Ties


by Pat McClelland on 9 March 2009


I’ve noticed that a lot of my friends and acquaintances seem to be getting annoyed at the fact that they have, for some silly reason, accepted friend requests from random people on Facebook. Not random as in strangers, but random as in the random kids they went to Primary School and high school with, ex-colleagues - all the people who you wouldn’t ever interact with on Facebook (never mind meet for coffee), despite being connected to them. Now that the novelty of Facebook has worn off somewhat, and even those rampant little ‘friend requesters’ must have calmed down a tad, the prospect of sitting and filtering out the people one actually cares to know from the rest can seem daunting. There is an element of finality about the whole thing of deleting a friend, so I find myself asking “is there no possible situation in which being connected to this person may benefit me?” –and have landed up imagining some pretty ludicrous scenarios. It would perhaps be a bit easier if I got a burger for each person that I deleted. Image

I recently also read an interesting articleby The Economist that looked at the actual limit to how many stable relationships humans can maintain at one point and linked this back to user activity trends on Facebook. Turns out, as I would have expected, that we only really have a small percentage of strong relationships within social networks and the others really function as an audience for us to broadcast our lives to.

Anthropologist Robin Dunbar first put the theory forward that there is actually a cognitive limit to the number of people with whom we can maintain stable relationships. According to this theory that number is roughly 150, and includes not only those people who you interact with on a regular basis, but also those that you have known in the past and would want to reacquaint with in the future. However, Dunbar derived his estimate primarily from nonhuman primates and pre-industrial villages and settlements – other anthropologists have estimated that the number is closer to 290 in the urban context.

Cameron Marlow, Facebook’s research scientist, revealed in the interview with The Economist, that while we seem to be broadcasting our lives more, or ‘advertising’ ourselves better – we still actually seem to have a limit to the number of ‘real’ relationships that we can maintain. These are the statistics:

• The average male Facebook user with 120 friends leaves comments on 7 friends’ photos, status updates, or wall, and messages or chats with just 4 friends.
• The average female Facebook user with 120 friends leaves comments on 10 friends’ photos, status updates, or wall, and messages or chats with only 6 friends
• The average male Facebook user with 500 friends leaves comments on 17 friends’ photos, status updates, or wall and messages or chats with 10 friends.
• The average female Facebook user with 500 friends leaves comments on 26 friends’ photos, status updates, or wall and messages or chats with 16 friends.

It seems the people that we interact with online are the ones we are most likely to interact with offline, or via some other communication tool anyway. So, as others have pointed out, Facebook and social media in general really acts to enhance already existing relationships, and is also popular for its broadcast element – and the social voyeurism that this facilitates. The number of real friendships we have hasn"t changed, but we are finding more value in connecting with more people, and establishing what David Armano"s presentation The Microsociology of Networks refers to as "ambient intimacy".




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